Once upon a time, there was a cute blonde girl with pink-highlights in her hair (yes, I know, I’m kind of fixated on the pink highlights). One day, she was walking alone in the forest when a tall young woman with large eyebrows appeared at the top of a small cottage, shouting at the pigs she was tending.

The cute blonde girl, named Chitoge, stood in horror as she watched a veritable verbal laceration of the innocent pigs by the virulent eyebrows girl, whose name was Satsuki.

“Oh, Great Spirit of the Raging Tsun and Mighty Dere,” prayer Chitoge. “Permit me, thy humble follower, to act as an agent of justice for those poor pigs. Alas, although they are dirty creatures, they are of the same hue as the tips of my own hair. Though I am loathe to compare myself to such beasts, I cannot stand such cruelty.”

Donning her battle clothes…

…Chitoge strode out against Satsuki.

“Hey, beansprout girl!”
“What is it, wench with pig-colored hair?”

Chitoge thought of turning her back, somewhat disillusioned by the opening salvo of insults, but as she turned, she remembered the ways of the Great Spirit of Raging Tsun and Mighty Dere.

“Come down here, eyebrows-kun (Chihayafuru reference FTW).”
“Oh, I will, you dirty sllllllipper.”
“Get down here!”
“You’ve come to steal my man, haven’t you?”
“What?”
“You’ve come to take him away from me?”
“What are you talking about, idiot?”
“You can’t have him! Fight me!”

The battle ended quickly.

NOTE: I promise I am working on actual content! I promise!